The last seven days have been a complete nightmare, at one stage, and with my support worker Grace on the phone, I literally had to break down in chunks a walk to probation. We started off going from lamppost to lamppost, then extended it out as I walked. By the time I had reached probation I was in the right frame of mind to deal with the appointment. A lot of things were going wrong at the same time, I found myself doing something I wouldn’t normally do, which was filtering. The amount of draft texts and e-mails that I had created, deleted, recreated and reworded but never sent was in double figures. There is I found a downside to this, when you are used to saying things how they are, holding back does not leave one mentally strong.
I read a saying somewhere that says one of the greatest burdens we carry is the one of the untold story inside of us, and in one aspect that is why I am writing this blog, to tell my story, to share my burden and in the hope that by reading this blog other’s will share their burden’s with others, or even in the comments section.
As I mentioned before it has been a nightmare week and that is why I have been quiet on here, but then I decided to post a link to my blog on The Open University Facebook page I belong to. The comments that I was receiving back were incredible, especially you Zoe, I cannot thank all those people that did comment enough, your words have given me an extra dimension to my determination and motivation. Again all because I was willing to share, people do listen, people do care and it’s amazing how a few words of encouragement can make you feel and lift you from your current hole and face the world with your head held high, just need to learn more about letting go the negative feelings from filtering, and I do have to filter lol.