Just a short one!!!
There are times in life that are so negative we can’t see the wood for the trees, however, occasionally things happen that makes us realise our own purpose in life.
We love, we lose, we acquire again, we lose, it’s the circle of life, to the point where we question our own sanity. Yet sometimes, just sometimes, regardless of the situation, a constant appears, in my case quite a few constants.
Looking back I would say that a lot of my blogs, though some with a positive spin, are of the negative mind, maybe because I feel the need in those frames of mind to off load and when I am in a more positive mood fail to understand the importance of off loading. It’s easy to work out that just because I am in a positive mood negative things don’t happen, of course they do, what I seem to forget is that though the negative moments pass by, the feelings still remain and build up then CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
I have been to hell and back recently, yes even to the point of contemplating suicide, but getting back to the point of this blog and the constants I referred to earlier. I feel as if i’m doing these constants a disservice because they are in fact friends, close friends, the ones that are just there, no advice, no judging, no pressure just pure old I’m there if you need me kinda stuff. I used the plural as I have been fortunate enough to have a few round me, I don’t need to name names as they are fully aware of who they are. What I will say is, without these people I do not know where I would be. The support you all gave me was incredible and life changing, it has allowed me to once again to embrace the importance of friendship and of all of the values a friendship is, it has taught me once again to trust and in a way that I didn’t think possible. I have felt so comfortable that I have been able to disclose things I have never told a therapist, or anyone for that matter.
Things are actually really looking up again and about time too but it is what it is, however, I now have the knowledge that if there is a next time I will have a group of people around me ready to cushion the blow. I’ve also made a great mate, an expat, living in Arizona and it’s like we have known each other years, real knows real and follow the gut.
So, things are really good at the moment, I recently trained to become a Dementia Friends Champion and did so well that they have asked me to facilitate Dementia Friends Information Sessions as requested by them as well, that was a proud moment on this journey, see Sara I can be proud of myself. I know why I couldn’t, because I was trying to be proud of the whole of me, including the past me, I have had to separate what it is that I am doing now. I have denied myself pride for the good work I am doing because of my past. Another good friend always says to me “things always turn out for the best in the end, if they haven’t, it’s not yet the end.”
New beginnings people, new beginnings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!