As much as I do try and promote a positive image of our criminal justice system; and just like there’s the negative aspect of the criminal justice system, one I focus on as well as the positives, my life is also not always positive. So be aware, as what I write could be a trigger for others.
At the beginning of March, this year, I was rushed to hospital as I had become extremely ill, some of my connections on LinkedIn may have seen the photo I posted the next day of me in hospital, one I deleted once the medication had worn off, but not before a numerous number of views and why I am hiding behind my blog. However, that isn’t the point of this blog.
I had never been as scared in my life as I was that night. I felt my life was ending faster than I had wanted. I’m pleased to say I am feeling 100% better, but only physically. Mentally, I have been battling against my thoughts and feelings daily. Something I previously gave no thought to is now wanting to take over my mind. Dying!
Death happens to us all, I get that. Having to deal with death is something I’m, unfortunately, too aware of, and now, I am more aware of my own mortality than ever before in my life.
As I mentioned, it has become somewhat of a daily battle against mentally slipping back to the rocks at the bottom. Circumstance only knows what the situation would’ve been were I not who I am today.
Mental health, or should I say, my mental health, will live with me until the day I die. For now, I just wish I could convince my thoughts and feelings that day is a long way off.
Thankfully, these days, I have so much to be grateful for, and to live for. Although I may currently be in a daily battle, my #whatcanbe saves me from drowning.
Samaritans: Call 116 113 or email firstname.lastname@example.org